#youmightbeanautismparentif I couldn’t wait for Little Man to talk…..but tonight I just want some peace!

Little Man spoke his 1st words around the normal age but he didn’t develop full on sentences until 3-3 1/2yrs old I couldn’t wait to know what my child was thinking. I cried the 1st time he ever said “I Love You”. The way he would try and pray at dinner was so sweet and beautiful. I loved when he started to show his sense of humor I would always ask him before bed where is Jesus? his response “My heart” where is God? “up in heaven” well one day his response to where is Jesus was “in my drawer” and to where is God was “in the toilet”. No I did not yell or reprimand him. My Mom has always told me she believes that God has a wonderful sense of humor and on that day I believe he was laughing with me. I take these wonderful moments for granted. Yes I celebrated and Loved each and every moment! I celebrated when he surpassed his goals. Tonight I felt extremely horrible. I had done grocery shopping at the end of a long day and Little Man’s energy was really wearing me thin. I finally started to lose it when a bag broke and a can rolled down the hill and I asked Little Man to hurry and go get Daddy. He was too busy worrying about me dropping my soda than anything else but he finally goes in after I urgently tell him 4 times…. Then after daddy comes out he is still trying to find out what happened and I am trying to talk to him about something and he is not listening. I finally started to say “Stop talking, Stop talking, stop talking.” Until he stopped and listened to me. After going inside the house and I was putting the load of groceries away I thought about what I said. I realized how selfish I was being in that moment yes I was frustrated but I should have more patience. I have a child who can communicate and I have not been appreciating that for the past 2days. Yes we are all allowed some peace and quiet. We need it to relax and regenerate, me being an introvert I need it a bit more than others…. But when I long for peace and quiet I need to remember to say a prayer of thanks that I do have a child who can talk and I need to remember my friends in the twitter and blogging world that have different struggles than I do and would do anything for their child to talk.  I am thinking about you tonight and I pray for strength for you and the struggle you go through it is not easy to have a child that cannot vocalize what they are thinking or feeling. God Bless each of you wonderful Autism Parents. Love you all!

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