New Turn

Thinking never stops with me. I am a typical introvert. I think that’s why this blog helps me so I am constantly processing stuff here. So here goes Big Daddy and I have wanted to adopt for a very long time. I just told Big Daddy today that I want to adopt another Autistic child. He handled that well it may not have even been a big shock to him, he knows me too well. I think inviting a NT child into our home will be harder on us and on the child than it would be to adopt another Autistic child. I want them to be able to understand each other and get along. I think a fear of mine, with us wanting to adopt would be for us to get a child that sees Little Man as different. I wouldn’t like that. I am the youngest of 4 and I had hero worship to my older siblings. I want the child that we adopt to feel that way with Little Man. With Little Man being 1/2 immature and 1/2 adult that isn’t going to happen with a NT child I am very worried that the brother he wanted for so long might end up being his worst critic…… That isn’t even what put the idea in my head but it is going to be a reason that drives me. I started looking on a data base that shows pictures of children that are in the US that are available or will be available soon and there was a little boy with Autism and he was about 4 or 5 and he melted my heart. I want him now! We still aren’t in the right place financially to adopt. I am more scared of the adoption process. Getting a negative answer in the end scares me the most. I know thinking like that isn’t really good but I have to validate my thoughts. I will continue to pray for this child and check the sight where his picture is up. It says he isn’t available for adoption yet so maybe that is a plus for me. I have time……. Hoping and praying we will both be ready at the right time.

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