Allergies, Insomnia, and Boundaries
I am sitting here in my allergy induced insomnia due to the Benadryl I took around 9:30pm. I was thinking about Boundaries. I read a book by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend, they are both amazing Speakers and Authors, the book I read was called “Boundaries with Kids”. When I read the book I knew my son possibly had ADHD but I wasn’t sure if he had Autism or not. I have been thinking about that book tonight and realizing I have been trying to do boundaries with my child, some of them work and some of them don’t. I mainly try to get him to do what I know he should be able to do or accomplish on his own. (I purposely left the word age appropriate out because I am so sick and tired of that term) Such as getting dressed in the morning. My son is 7 and will be turning 8 in April he should be able to get dressed on his own but if I let him dress on his own he would be done in 2 1/2 hours or later. I have tried many different things to get my child to be independent in this area but it is not working. To my knowledge insanity means doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome, so, I choose sanity. I will explain what it is like to give you an idea. When Little Man wakes up he becomes so over stimulated no matter how calm I try to keep it in the morning for him. He starts to want to hold or spin or touch any toy that catches his eye and making incredibly annoying noises, it really reminds me of Sponge Bobs Laugh. It is difficult to get him to take off his pjs and get on his clothes. 2 methods work for me so far but in both scenarios there is limited independence 1 I have him get dressed in the bathroom at my work with supervision and help from mommy and 2 dressing him on my bed where I don’t have his toys in my room. So I haven’t been able to come up with what I want yet but lets hope in time he will be ready to dress himself.
I would very much like these Authors, if they haven’t all ready, to write a Boundaries book for parents of Special Needs children. I am so busy controlling the home environment to keep things running smoothly that I forget to think about how I am feeling or what I want. So this morning while making my sons eggs he kept asking me for things and for help but he didn’t want to listen to me when I asked him to do what he needed to do so I threw a little fit and said “I feel mad! I am angry right now!” I also explained that I felt angry because he wasn’t listening to me. He really didn’t say much but he listened to what I was saying. Having that moment of anger really felt like a release. It will also help me from exploding at him I don’t mind showing anger in front of him but I dislike projecting my anger at him. I need to remember to do that more often. It makes more a happier well adjusted Mommy.
(Please excuse me if this article is a bit mishymushy I need to go to bed…..)