Baby Blues

It took me a while to realize I had the baby blues. When you have a cute little newborn to feed, change, and cuddle nothing else matters. It was the 6 weeks later that it hit me and I had to return to work this was a really difficult time for me. I worked at a daycare center but I had to leave my baby with my mom so I can take care of other peoples babies. I loved that my son was at home being nurtured and cared for by my mother she was so good at it and he never had to want or cry for anything……..but I wanted to be the one to stay home and do that. I went through a lot of emotion and no one really wanted to listen to me process my feelings. My mom just didn’t want to hear it because talking about it isn’t going to change it so why go over it. My husband would listen but not really he would respond with uhhuh mmmmm ok. So I cried a lot and became withdrawn. Books and the internet became my escape. I even withdrew a little from my sweet little man and it hurts me to realize that.  I did my best with what I had. My favorite thing to do when I got home was take my baby boy and lay on the bed and we would nap together, he was such a little jelly bean.  I spent time with him on the floor reading and having play time and day by day it became easier but I still had my moments of tears and I lived for the weekend when I could be full time Mommy to my little man.

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